Tour, Anyone?
by Carrie's Demise
Summary: When Fletcher announces Harry Potter is missing, the Order panics. When they figure out where he is, they don't expect him to be surrounded by creatures that should be extinct. HP/LL Rated M for language. ON HIATUS
1. Arrival: The Order

**A/N: I don't see enough of good Jurassic Park/Harry Potter cross-overs, so I adopted Crossoverpairinglover's 'The Order Visits Isla Nublar.'**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or Jurassic Park. If I did, Sirius and Fred would not be dead- Pettigrew would be dead by a wolfhound. For Jurassic Park, I'm not entirely too pleased with the 'betrayal' of Owen's velociraptors.**

Albus Dumbledore was called many things.

Headmaster, Supreme Mugwump, Chief Warlock, Grand Sorcerer, Chessmaster, and Obsolete Dingbat depending on where and whom.

At the moment, he was currently described to be 'very annoyed', and his targets were two unruly haired outsiders of the Wizarding world who were not related.

Well, not yet anyway. Sirius did have an odd feeling fellow messy haired Hermione Granger would end up with his godson. Either her, or Ginny anyway.

A nice girl on her own, Ginny would unfortunately come with being unable to escape her overbearing mother.

But, the writer's tolerance of both ships aside.

"I am very disappointed in you both," Dumbledore said after a period of staring at them. "You said too much in your letters."

"Oh yes, because telling my godson that the Ministry is watching him like ambush predators for the slightest thing they can use to destroy him is a crime." Sirius deadpanned.

"And telling him I'm sorry and that the only reason I'm here is because my parents ended up on a call to a dentist convention out of nowhere and only got two tickets is such a crime," Hermione brought up a cold truth.

"Harry mustn't be troubled by such things. He must grow up normally, and concerning himself about such things is unnecessary. Now, why don't you do just do as I say-"

"Dumbledore, don't you recall whose house this is?" Sirius pointed out. "I can kick you out magically, so try to remember that."

"HOW DARE YOU!" Molly's dulcet voice bellowed furiously.

"Molly, stop yelling." the ever graying werewolf pointed out to the short red-haired mother. "Look, while I agree somewhat with the possibility of the Ministry watching Harry too closely, leaving him without contact is not good in the long run. The Ministry can't tap phones, after all."

Hermione looked ready to find the nearest pay phone, and before Dumbledore could say no... Mundungus Fletcher burst into the tense sitting room where the confrontation was taking place.

"Potter's gone!"

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To say that this was taken in a calm and orderly fashion was like saying New Yorkers despised roasted peanuts.

Sirius responded to this by looking ready to hold Fletcher up against the wall and beat out answers.

However, Hermione beat him to it, with strength that was not expected of someone her size.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN HARRY'S GONE?!"

"What I said! He's gone! I left him alone for a few hours-"

"YOU WHAT!" Hermione managed to be the first person louder than Mrs. Weasley in a simultaneous face off.

"I had.. business to attend to."he stammered weakly.

"So help me if you were doing something illegal, if Harry is hurt because of your greed I will personally commit the act that I was falsely accused of, and imprisoned with!" Sirius snarled.

"And if he fails, you get to accompany me during the next full moon." Remus stated seriously, attempting to restrain his wolf's fury.

"YOU'RE A WERE!" Fletcher jabbed a stubby finger at Remus in disgust.

"The racism aside Mundungus," Dumbledore continued with a serious voice; however, his blue eyes did not twinkle. "Do you have any leads?"

"Well, I found this." Mundungus handed the bearded leader with an envelope, featuring some babble the thief did not understand.

Dumbledore, however, did.

"This, is an airplane ticket for a private airport." the elderly man stated in a neutral tone. "An international flight.. to Costa Rica... on another Continent... in an area that has a very strict dislike of all European governments, and me because I'm part of one." Back in colonial times, deporting muggleborns, squibs, and unwanted children to the New World was fashionable. Not to mention magicals tended to forget the same insults at the speed of mammoths.

The room was as silent as the grave as Dumbledore's face grew murderous.

"Mundungus..."

"Y-Yes?" The grimy man stuttered out in a squeaking kind of voice.

"I'm officially going to retract my promise to keep Moody from searching your house, or arresting you...starting now."

" _INCARCEROUS_! _STUPEFY_!"

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After Moody finally got to arrest someone again, all available forces of the Order was gathered around a shower rod portkey, including Snape and the children.

"But sir, Costa Rica is a country with more area than the Netherlands or Denmark. How do we know where to look?" Hermione pointed out.

"Easy, we find where the trouble is." Fred eyed Hermione pointedly. "We just have to find the dragon nests, dark lord fortresses, and the nearest maiden in crisis."

"Or a nude beach." George imputed. "He is a teenage boy after all. What teenage boy would not want to find a tropical nude beach?"

"Nude beach?!" Ron said like a man possessed, before Ginny walloped him across the back of the head.

"Ah Miss Granger, Mess'rs Weasley, do you take me for a fool?" Dumbledore quipped as he took out a magical tool that resembled a GPS, rudimentary but still possessing basic appearances. "This little device allows me to track Harry's whereabouts at any given time."

Tonks gave the device a nervous glance. "Aren't those illegal?"

"..You really want to arrest Dumbledore, go ahead." Moody deadpanned. "It's not like we're in a vigilant organization with an escaped prisoner, werewolf, and now arrested con man? A minor item banned because of use by people like Skeeter or child molesters is certainly less of an offense than anything like that."

Tonks shifted herself to look as deafeated as possible.

"Isla Nublar, eh?" Dumbledore looked over the device's findings. "Well, this should be simple enough. _Portus._ "

"Cloud Island?"

"Yep, nude beach."

"ENOUGH WITH THE NUDE BEACHES!" Molly shrieked angrily. "NO DECENT PERSON WOULD GO TO ONE OF THOSE!"

"I do." Fleur pointed out, as Molly didn't seem surprised until someone else spoke up... and it wasn't Sirius."

"..Me too." Hermione weakly pointed out as they all stared at her.

"My family vacations in France..."

As Molly muttered something about France 'corrupting influence', Fleur smiled at Hermione.

"..Bill, we officially recognize you as our coolest brother." The twins stated simultaneously.

"Nude beach or not," Dumbledore pointed out seriously. "It is simple enough. We go in, grab Harry, take him here, and chastise him for reckless endangerment of himself."

"After all," Snape commented as they all grabbed the shower rod: Arthur, Molly, Bill, Fleur, Fred, George, Ron, Ginny, Hermione, Moody, Shacklebolt, Tonks, Sirius, Remus, Snape, McGonagall, and Dumbledore. "What could possibly be so interesting about Isla Nublar?"

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The full group knew something was up when they clearly found themselves at a portkey and apparition point, a warded area that was the only area in a ward matrix where mass transportation could be done.

It was used as a crowd control feature, and it clearly showed Harry was in a wizarding area.

And Dumbledore didn't like it.

"Be ready for anything," Dumbledore said as he drew the Elder wand. "This could be anything from a slave ring's headquarters to a secret Death Eater base."

"The Dark Lord only has agents in Europe." Snape muttered.

Hermione, however, realized something that quickly became apparent. "Guys, this isn't a wizarding area."

"What do you mean?" Arthur wasn't sure what the intelligent muggleborn was talking about.

"Because wizards don't make paved roads." Moody pointed out at the obvious thing in front of him.

As Dumbledore and Arthur wondered how they missed that, Fred and George hopped on it.

"Huh.. no beach or nudity in sight." Fred sighed in disappointment.

"Just a strange tree trunk." George was looking ahead at a group of tropical looking trees, and this smoother, bent one..

"Will you knock it off, you two!" Ginny snapped at them as George continued to stare at the now moving strange tree.

"Er, Fred.." George whispered.

"Yes?" Fred answered his twin curiously as the other adults were talking, their voices occasionally being heard but ignored.

"I suggest we go with Auror maneuver forty-five." Moody muttered, big blue eye swirling around in agitation. Hermione stared up at the sky with an expression of incredulity.

"No, no.. That's suggesting we're going to be under heavy spell fire." Shacklebolt offered. Curious to what Hermione was looking at, Ron glanced upwards as well, before murmuring an inquiring question.

"So, basically you want me to morph a few times, grab Harry, and get back here while you all just sit here and look for nude beaches?" Tonks prompted with an edge of complaint in her voice. In the background, George skittered closer to Hermione as he asked quietly about what they were supposed to be seeing.

"You have a plan just for Tonks?" Bill was surprised at that. There was a rather loud swear behind them coming from Hermione, but they ignored it as Ginny stared at her incredulously.

Curious, isn't it, how the adults ignore the children so easily.

"We have plans for everything from Death Eaters to red-eyed white rabbits." Behind Moody, Hermione was babbling in-comprehensively. When Ginny asked her a question, she too began to look up before her eyes widened in shock. Fred asked a question that suggested that he might have been insane before. "I wrote them myself." Moody added after a couple moments.

"Why doesn't that surprise me?" McGonagall commented drily. George asked another question to a still babbling Hermione.

"CONSTANT VIGILANCE!" Curious about what the kids were staring at, Sirius commented, "Hey kiddos, whatcha lookin' at- SWEET VEELA NUDE BEACHES!"

"Sirius, what are you-" An odd wolf-like squeaking noise escaped from Remus.

"We could just leave him to die." Snape added sarcastically. Idly, he noticed that the children and remains of the Marauders were trying not to butt in. No-one else noticed, and he rather liked it.

"Severus, ever consider why you don't have a girlfriend?" Bill inserted casually.

"William, don't be rude." Molly admonished swiftly.

"Eet eez true." Fleur agreed with her not-yet-boyfriend.

However, before Molly could speak out a sound not unlike a whale trumpeted through the forest. Dumbledore couldn't tell whether it was a fusion between a whale and a donkey, or a whale and a penguin. This sound, however, got the attention of the adults that were still conversing.

Standing in front of a nearby clump of forest, was a large creature that stood in front of a herd of its own kind.

With long necks that could easily bypass the ceiling of the Great Hall, the earth trembled with each step. A few heads swiveled to look down at them, before dismissing the group of humans and returning to its leafy meal.

"Those are- Those are-" Tonks was a stammering mess.

"..I haven't ever seen these kind of creatures." Dumbledore's bright blue eyes were round in a rare moment of surprise.

"Dinosaurs." came Hermione's voice from behind them.

" _Dinosaurs, a genus of ancient reptiles that lived millions of years ago. They are the ancestors of birds today. From 230 to 65 million years ago, they ranged from sizes of chickens to the size of these brilliant brachiosaurs._ " Harry's voice rang out from seemingly everywhere.

"Harry?!" Ron practically screeched out in surprise. "WHERE ARE YOU?!"

" _..I'm using the loudspeaker._ " Harry deadpanned as the magicals noticed the muggle invention, plus a domed camera around the entry point tied to the top of a nearby tree.

To be fair to the magicals, the muggle-aware were staring at the giant extinct animal herd.

" _Sooo... what are you guys doing here anyways? The island isn't supposed to be public until August first. A few hospitals with cancer affected children, some news reporters, a paleontologist group... Not a group of magicals._ "

"We're here to bring you home. It's not safe here." Dumbledore stated bluntly.

" _Even if that was true, you can't leave._ "

"Who says?" Snape demanded. "Arrogant-"

" _Actually, you do, Snape. See, I do realize that there are murderous psychopaths after me, so I did take precautions. The apparition entry point automatically seals up its ward hole if a Dark Mark passed through. By bringing Snape, you're all stuck here for twenty-four hours. Pity for you, the supply ship left_ _yesterday._ "

"Those locks are illegal, Harry-"

"Well, in Britain anyway," Bill corrected Dumbledore. "and we're in Costa Rica."

" _Sooo, seeing as you're stuck here, you're drafted to be Jurassic Park's test monkeys! You can take the tour, and if something goes wrong, we know how to fix it before the opening._ "

"I will do no such thing, Potter!"

" _Snape, you all barged onto private property. Not to mention you're probably still thinking of kidnapping me..._ "

"Now, I wouldn't call it _that_ -" Dumbledore began in protest.

" _But you came here to bring me back to Britain, not taking into account my personal wishes or plans?_ "

"..I'm sure we can convince you it's for the Greater Good?"

Hermione muttered something about a person named Grindelwald, while she shuffled away from Dumbledore and gave him an expression of extreme paranoia.

" _And now you're stuck on my island, and if I leave you guys alone, you'd get eaten or something. Or poisoned, or drowned, or accidentally let a Rex loose in San Diego or something.. so get in the cars before I call security. After all, technically only Hermione, Remus, Sirius and.. unfortunately Snape exist by muggle legal records. So security can do whatever they want to everyone else, and I don't have to tell the insurance company or change the 'Days since last injury or death' count._ "

The group blinked in surprise as a small fleet of green and red tour vehicles rolled down the nearby road as Ron found Harry's new... humor to be slightly disturbing.

"Cool!" Fred exclaimed.

"I do believe the term is, I CALL SHOTGUUUN!" George gloated, before cackling in a mildly disturbing manner.

"Well I call driving!"

" _They are automated actually, but I believe you can honk the horn._ "

"..That works too." Fred admitted.

"We are not getting in those cars," Molly huffed, eyeing the vehicles mistrustfully.

" _...Security?_ "

"No muggle could-" Snape began condescendingly.

" _Who said my guards were human?_ "

The nearby tall grass rustled menacingly, while a few odd sounding chirps were given out.

"...Let's just get into the car. At the very least, we might be able to talk to Harry in person." Dumbledore tried not to feel a little worried about what was in the grass.

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" _Welcome to Jurassic Park, the world's first zoological theme park featuring live dinosaurs and an assortment of other extinct creatures._ " Harry spoke up on the intercom installed between all five cars. On the first were Fred, George, Hermione, and Ginny. Arthur, Molly, Sirius and Remus were in the second. In the third car, Bill, Fleur, Ron, and Tonks sat. Car four contained Moody, Shacklebolt, McGonagall, and Dumbledore. Severus sat by himself in the fifth car. " _And its also the world's first theme park to be aided by a combination of science and a few subtle magics, all located within a hundred or so miles off the coast of the greenest country on Earth, Costa Rica._ "

"Sounds like a big break of the Statute-" Dumbledore began, but was cut off by Harry.

" _I said subtle, didn't I? There are several squibs and muggles who have magical relatives in the management._ "

"..He's got you there." Kingsley Shacklebolt pointed out.

"How in Merlin did I even get involved in this." Hermione muttered to herself. "How is this even happening at all?"

" _Oh, it's a funny story._ " Harry butted in, having overheard his best female friend. " _See, it turns out my dad invested money in a lot of muggle companies before I was born, including a little company called InGen. I sort of found out my part ownership when Gringotts sent me a message about the former CEO, John Hammond, wanting to meet me after first year._ "

"You shouldn't be-"

" _Dumbledore, security is still tailing you all, you know?_ " Harry deadpanned as Ginny could have sworn she saw something move in the underbrush, following the cars on all sides. " _The summer after first year, while Dobby was blocking my mail, I managed to put it out of my mind when he showed me the park as it was being set up. Which was a brilliant place of dreams that he wanted perfect to make for children, or at least rich ones. It was lovely, even when he only had half a dozen species here at the time. And as it turned out, Hammond had a muggleborn magical for a sister. He was quite interested to find out he had a magical help fund his park. In particular, he asked me to help him find DNA._ "

"Dee Ehn What?" Arthur couldn't help but ask.

" _DNA, Mr. Weasley. It's the building block of life. With DNA, you can see what makes a chicken different from a fish. You can even take DNA and make life from it._ "

Something dawned in Hermione at that particular moment. "The dinosaurs are _cloned_." The fifteen year old whispered, a hint of reverence in her tone.

" _Yes. Originally, Jurassic Park got its DNA from mosquitos and other blood suckers from inside amber, or fossilized tree sap. However, Hammond had a book from his sister called '10,000 Obscure Spells' that had a whole list of weird tricks, including a spell that could, from bones, identify what kind of species it was. It was originally meant to figure out if a person was a werewolf or something post mortem, but as Hammond guessed, and I found out, it actually did so by extracting a pure lump of DNA. Using another obscure spell that could form amber around small objects, I had essentially unlocked the means to bring any extinct species to life._ "

"..That's.." Tonks was speechless. Spells so obscure that even the greatest charms masters wouldn't even consider worthwhile, did all this?

" _Science and magic make quite the pair, do they not? Anyway, after I got acquainted with the Weasleys that summer and went to school, Hammond set up a fossil museum in San Diego with his foundation, where he collected any and all fossils he could. Dinosaurs, Ice Age beasts, even a few imprints from ancient insects, all there and ready for DNA extraction. Summer after second year, I flew over to San Diego and obtained DNA from each and every one of the fossils, causing the potential resources for Jurassic Park to explode. So, after going through third year and all the Dementor drama, I ended up getting the surprise of my life._ "

"Besides being a wizard?" Inquired Hermione incredulously.

" _Well, perhaps the second surprise of my life then. Hammond... was not fun to deal with. He was greedy, self-centered, and was too showy for my tastes. He was that flamboyant. If he had magic in his veins, he would be Malfoy senior's best friend in golf. Wait, does Lucius even golf?_ "

Arthur let out a weak laugh. "No, no he doesn't.

" _Shame. Anyways, I won't lie when his death from a heart attack was met with.. relief from some of the staff. Arnold, Muldoon, Wu.. and me. However, what was annoying was me being railroaded into being in charge of the Jurassic Park project. I ended up spending most of my time before the world cup creating new designs for the park's tour systems, reducing some automation, giving the employees more voice.. Stuff like that. They implemented them during fourth year, and now I'm just overseeing the final preparations, see the opening days.. then find someone else to take on the political shit this place has._ "

"You shouldn't talk to dead people like-" Molly began to retort.

" _You never met him. Don't try to make him look like a saint. He acted like how Snape thinks I do._ "

"..."

" _We're here._ " Harry announced as all five cars pulled up to the lodge.

The large building was brown and made of stone. It had a thatched roof, and was large enough to hold the Qudditch World Cup stadium inside of it.

And up at the front, Harry was standing there with a sign that had 'Order of the Intruding Flaming Turkeys' scrawled across the front of it in a neon purple color. Hermione had to stifle a laugh; he looked like one of those valets at the airport!

Ron really did wonder where Harry got this new sense of humor.

As the cars stopped, Dumbledore burst out of the car like some kind of Norse god, wand sliding into hand.

"Yeah, no. SECURITY!" Harry hollered over his shoulder. A series of howls, growls, and chirps came from the grasses nearby, unnerving the people that had started climbing out of the cars.

"...Harry?" Hermione tilted her head to the side in concern. Harry flashed the girl a bright smile, making the curly-haired girl have a light blush spread over her face. Dumbledore looked like he wanted to punch Harry.

"My security raptors." The boy in question beamed at the group in a rather disturbingly cheerful manner. "Extremely intelligent and swift super killers who obey my will via parseltongue. Don't you have some?"

"Ehm.. no."

"Well!" Giving Albus a warning look, Harry turned to the rest of the group. "They will be tailing us the entire time. And if they see one wand out, they will attack and maul you. After that, they will drag you screaming into the bushes and devour you alive. Uh, while I don't exactly have the paperwork to draw out your death certificates, the cleaning staff will complain about the stains."

"Not. Funny."Sirius deadpanned, a slightly terrified glint in his eyes.

"I could say the same thing about plotting to kidnap." Harry informed the group solemnly. However, a malicious glint sparked in his eyes. "Cheerio!" He beamed again. "Let's go in."

Approaching the glass door, they slid open on their own smooth, silent volition. Moody's paranoia automatically rocketed up a notch.

The twins glanced over their shoulders and jumped in front of them again. Once more, the sliding glass doors slid open. As they backed away, the doors slid closed.

Sharing a look and a wide grin, they commented, "Neat!"


	2. Apparently Dinosaurs Live

**A/N: I honestly did not expect to see so many favorites, follows, and reviews in the span of less than a week. I honestly love you guys.**

 **The original chapter for Crossoverpairinglover's one-shot was the base for the previous chapter. I edited, added some stuff in..**

 **Okay, just to let you guys know, I'm a major slack-off. There will be times where there is a couple weeks to maybe six months of not updating. When that happens, I'm either bored with the story, don't know what to do with it, or I have writer's block. Reading Jurassic Park recently broke that.**

 **One more thing. Despite the first chapter being heavily edited by me, the writing style will be quite different from here-on out. I like being descriptive; there's a reason why the story is rated M. No smut or lemons though! I'm terrible at those.**

 **I apologize for those who have waited a week for the next chapter. I will upload chapters on a weekly basis, from between 11 AM - 10 PM on Saturdays. I'm also a busy person, so don't be 'PLEASE PLEASE PLEASe update!' because those kind of reviews turn me off of writing.**

 **This is mostly a filler chapter though, so be prepared for a major plot point coming up in chapter 3.**

 **On with the story!**

 **DISCLAIMER: I do not own Harry Potter or Jurassic Park. Those belong with J.K. Rowling, as well as Kathleen Kennedy and Gerald R. Molen respectively. Otherwise they would be hoarded on borderline obsessive by me.**

Harry looked rather amused as the group of magicals- aside from the muggle-aware- gaped at the technology inside the building. The walls were papered over with a dinosaur theme, while a beautiful redwood information center sat in the middle of it. Its counters were a black marble, and at one end there was a cash register and a computer that didn't have a mouse or keyboard. Touch screen, maybe? To their right, there was a large archway that entered to what looked like a gift shop.

"Welcome to Safari Lodge!" the fifteen year old threw up his hands in a dramatic manner, bright green eyes glittering mischievously. "This is an updated version of the original one, with an added gift shop."

"Gift shop?" Fleur inquired curiously, while Ron and Ginny looked rather intrigued. Harry nodded vigorously, and reached behind the counter of the info center as if to grab something. After nearly falling over and earning a few snorts from his victi- _guests_ , Harry turned right back around with a cheerful smile.

"Yup! It's not open at the moment though, because we need to find some staff for it." Shuffling the papers in his hands with a look of concentration, he began to look through them as if he was looking for something.

Fred and George looked at each other, brown eyes gleaming with anticipation. "I wonder if we can convince Harry to stay..." George murmured to his identical twin softly.

"Perhaps." Fred whispered back, glancing at the others with a rather waspish expression.

"AH! Here it is!" Harry's triumphant grin made the rather quiet group shift awkwardly. "Okay, since you guys were.. _unexpected_ , I had to hook you guys up with a few rooms."

From the desk on top of him, Harry plucked off a large envelope sheath. "Room one contains Arthur, Molly, Remus, and Tonks. There are two full sized beds, as well as a bathroom. Room two, Bill and Fleur along with Ron and Hermione. Dumbledore, Snape, Moody, and McGonagall, room three. Room four, Fred and George, along with Ginny and Shacklebolt. Sirius buddy, you're rooming with alone."

"Aw c'mon!" came from most of the group, until something loud shot up into the air.

"Your keys must remain on you at all times, or you're sleeping with Rexy." Harry commented bluntly, a disturbing grin on his face.

"Er, Harry.." Ron looked mildly confused. "Where are _you_ sleeping?"

For a moment, Harry looked like he had been caught like a deer in the headlights. "Um, by myself." he answered glibly after a minute or so. No-one believed him at that point, since they knew he was generally a terrible liar.

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"Where are we going, Mr. Potter?" McGonagall inquired as they were loaded all into the automatic Jeeps.

"To the Visitor Center." The messy-haired boy glanced up at his Transfiguration professor. "I'm going to show you guys something." In fact, Hammond had shown him the exact same thing the first time he saw this place.

"Ah, okay." came the slightly mollified voice of Tonks. A few of the older magicals- like Shacklebolt, Moody, and Arthur- were prodding the inside of the cars with a curious expression.

All of the kids- Ginny, Ron, Hermione, Fred, and George- had loaded three each to a front car. Remus and Sirius had split up to supervise them. The adults were all in the following cars.

Within the next ten minutes, various arguments had broken across all five cars. Adults shouting at each other, while the kids simply watched with wide eyes. It wasn't that until they pulled up to the visitor center that Harry produced a blow horn.

Green yes glinting mischievously, the black-haired boy switched on the mic and made a 'shhh' gesture by placing a finger in front of his lips.

"EVERYONE, WE ARE APPROACHING THE VISITOR CENTER. PLEASE SHUT YOUR MOUTHS." Harry's bland voice blared through all the cars, making a few people shriek in surprise and attempt to beat the shit out of the sound producer.

"Okay, now that's taken care of, let's exit the cars!"

Cheerily, Harry exited the jeep and practically _bounced_ over to the entrance of a concrete building that had a concave curve. It had a tinted door with some kind of egg on it, while odd fossil designs decorate the arch around it. As the group walked up the stairs, the took note of what looked like a storage space next to the Visitor Center. The cars were slowly moving towards it as they approached the building, and with it, Harry.

Said boy was bouncing on his toes impatiently, a wide grin on his face.

"Harry, you're being creepy." Ron bluntly stated, eyeing the door contemplatively.

"Am I?" the boy answered breezily, opening the doors with a flourish. "In we go, people! And hurry up!"

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Harry took note of the eager expression on Fred and George's face. Molly still looked quite grumpy at the situation she was in, and her face was gradually getting redder. Now slightly alarmed, Harry shifted his gaze to the rest of the group. McGonagall and Snape looked bored, while Dumbledore looked like he was sulking. Fred and George, along with the Marauders, were exploring. Lips twitching in amusement, he observed the rest of the group. Arthur and Shacklebolt were like kids in a candy store.

Moody was talking with Hermione, in which the two were shooting Dumbledore rather paranoid looks every now and then. Ron, Tonks, and Ginny were playing a game of Rock, Paper, Scissors.

Mentally cackling to himself, Harry brought up his walkie talkie and spoke into it.

"Prepare for a large group of people," he murmured to the receiver.

"..People are already coming?" answered Henry Wu, the Chief Geneticist. "I thought the park wasn't open until August first."

Harry didn't answer at first. "They came from the wizarding section." he sighed quietly, before letting out a small laugh. "In an attempt to kidnap me."

"..Ah. Well. I'll prep the team." came the reluctant response.

"Yup. I'll come with the turkeys soon. Potter out." Clicking off the walkie-talkie, he practically skipped forward a few steps. "If you'll follow me, we're going to go on a tour of the building."

With a skip in a step, Harry whistled cheerfully as he led the group towards the theatre.


	3. Career Development

**A/N: It's been almost a year! I've been really busy though, so as a present I'm giving you the third chapter. The fourth chapter should come out within a few months. If not, feel free to poke me! I've spent whatever time I could working on this chapter in the past six months, so please don't freak out on me. XD**

 **If you dooo... well... -hides under desk- Don't kill me?**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or Jurassic Park. Those belong to J.K. Rowling, Kathleen Kennedy, and Gerald R. Molen respectively (along with Michael Crichton). Those are pure works of genius that I couldn't have made up by myself, let alone several other people.**

Fred glanced at his twin in concern, who was staring at Harry with a thoughtful expression. This place was pretty awesome, and as they followed Harry into another room, he cocked his head as the black-haired boy shot them a wink. Wait- Fred narrowed his eyes, absently wiping a hand down his face to get rid of anything suspicious. Harry merely shot them an innocent look, before scrambling up the stairs to the odd stage that faced several rows of seats.

While everyone else filed in after the twins, the two claimed front row seats and shared amused glances. They didn't really know what was going on- just that they were on a tour of a dinosaur park. What were dinosaurs, anyways?

"Right!" Harry flipped through a manila folder, pursing his lips and glancing over the large group with a mischievous glint in his eyes. As Sirius and Remus entered the room, he waved a hand and the door shut. An ominous clicking sound rang throughout the room, which probably meant that it locked. "Take a seat, somewhere. I don't particularly care."

Clasping his hands behind his back, Harry bounced on his toes and faced the screen with a determined expression. "Right, like I said earlier, DNA is the building block of life. Short for deoxyribonucleic acid, all living beings consist of this material. There are four bases in DNA: adenine, guanine, cytosine, and thymine." He turned around, pulling out a tablet and sliding his fingers across the screen in a few short swipes. "One of the most important factors about DNA is that it can replicate itself, which is integral in regards to my company."

The screen behind him flickered to life, showing a picture of something that looked like a spiraling ladder. "This," Harry gestured to the image grandly, idly pushing his glasses up his nose. "Is a double helix. Each strand of DNA serves as a pattern, which is vital when we are cloning the dinosaurs. The order of the four bases determines what kind of information and what we are looking at exactly."

The group of seventeen stared at the screen in unabashed amazement. Harry merely smiled patiently, and brushed his fingers against his tablet again in a couple of long strokes, before tapping things on it. The large screen against the wall of the auditorium flickered again, before displaying several digital dinosaurs, all downsized to fit on one screen. "As I mentioned before, dinosaurs were alive millions of years ago, before being wiped out by disease and meteors."

The fifteen-year-old stashed the tablet beneath the front flap of his manila folder, pursing his lips slightly. "As we take a tour of the park, you will learn about various dinosaurs and what not. Please follow me, and my assistant. She will be here shortly.

" _LOVEGOOD!_ " Harry's yell into his walkie-talkie made everyone jump.

There was a brief crackling of white noise before a recognizable, dreamy voice came through. "Yes, Harry?"

"Mind accompanying me with this group of idiots?"

Hermione felt righteously indignant, while Remus and McGonagall choked on air and the others merely stared at the black-haired Potter. How dare he call them stupid!

"On my way!~" Luna's voice crackled through, right before Harry clicked a button on the device to turn it off. "Right, while we wait for my assistant to arrive, any questions?"

"What the hell is going on, Harry?" Ron blurted out, his blue eyes wide with immense confusion and slight hurt. Why hadn't Harry involved them with this? He and Hermione could have helped him! "Why didn't you contact us?"

"Mm?" Harry glanced up from distractedly staring down at his manila folder. "Oh! You would have brought it to Dumbledore eventually, which I didn't want. I've had enough of his meddling in my life."

Mrs. Weasley opened her mouth to scold him furiously, only to get a hand slapped over it by an irate Fleur. As various, rather curious faces turned towards Dumbledore, the old man shrank back slightly and merely looked down.

George couldn't hold it in anymore. "Would you be willing to accept interns from the magical world?"

Harry glanced at the twins in surprise, before a small, albeit warm smile crept onto his face. "I would," he admitted. "Those who are interested in working for InGen, or Jurassic Park, can talk to me at any time in regards to working here."

The twins beamed at him, while Sirius and Remus exchanged intrigued glances. There was an eager look on Fleur's and Shacklebolt's face, while Tonks looked contemplative. Ron seemed to be struggling with something internally, while Ginny pouted slightly and Hermione gave into her excitement, bouncing excitedly on her seat. All of the others had varying looks of disapproval, confusion, anger, and discomfort.

"What kind of careers are open?" Hermione asked curiously, her brown eyes gleaming.

"Mmm, well, we have geneticists, scientists, researchers, park rangers, breeders, trainers..." Harry almost went cross-eyed from trying to think of all the careers that were open. "There are probably some positions open in management. I know we need receptionists, cashiers, and tour guides, as well as people working the rides... Shopkeepers."

Brown eyes gleamed in anticipation at the mention of researchers, while Fred and George looked the most excited at the shopkeeping.

"I'm probably going to guess that there are several of you who are interested," Harry murmured, a contemplative look sparking on his face. With gleaming eyes, he glanced over the crowd of magical people. "However, I have the right to refuse internship to those who are not qualified, misbehaved, and not willing to work hard." Therefore, in his mind, there were a lot of people here that would automatically be cut off the list.

A loud crashing sound outside of the room had many of the magicals jump and glance around furtively in their panic. Where did it come from? A brief, muffled laugh escaped the messy-haired fifteen year old at the sound, recognizing it for what it was: his personal assistant.

From where Harry stood, he could see a panel on the far right open and release the blonde-haired form of one Luna Lovegood. Bright blue eyes flickered mischievously upon seeing the gawping magicals, before she abruptly ignored them and flipped her curly ponytail back behind her. "You asked for me, Harry-kins?" she inquired sweetly, large blue eyes dreamily sweeping across the ceiling and settling on a few random spots.

There were a few audible choking noises before, " _Luna?!_ " came the incredulous simultaneous voices from the youngest Weasleys.


	4. Introducing: The Security Team

**A/N: Another chapter! This time you didn't have to wait a year for your next update. Props to StallionWolf who mentioned the raptors! They have an introduction chapter all to themselves. I randomly chose the names, although they do have a special meaning if the name is actually one of the characters from HP. Perhaps those meanings will come out in the next few chapters.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or Jurassic Park.**

Harry cracked a grin at Ron and Ginny's reactions, before turning his attention solely onto his assistant. Leaning into her ear, he let his gaze slide over the large group of magicals. "Put Fred and George down on the list of potential interns. As well as Fleur Delacour and Kingsley Shacklebolt." He narrowed his eyes at Hermione and Ron, before subtly flicking his eyes over Tonks to eye her dubiously. "Tonks as well."

Luna merely beamed at him, before muttering under her breath about ungrateful twats. Harry released a soft laugh, pressing a brief affectionate kiss to her hair. "How do you know the Order of the Phoenix?" she inquired softly as she scribbled down the names, absently writing in what they could potentially could at. While the two were haggling over potential interns, the Order pretty much had resorted to quietly conversing among themselves.

"Ah, well, Dumbledore introduced me to them over Christmas break." he admitted quietly, before softly suggesting that Moody would probably be good for the human security team. "Wanted me to think about joining." Luna laughed gently at that, scribbling down Sirius and Remus's names off to the side.

"Hmm... if the heliopath army from the Ministry finds out about these two, it's likely they're not going to be seen again." Luna murmured quietly, tilting her head slightly to peer up at her boyfriend for permission. Harry tapped her nose playfully, though his green eyes darkened in thought. Remus would probably have a blast in research, but...

"Scientists. While they can research all they want, they will be coming up with potions as well. Sirius is likely to appreciate that because of the potential explosions." Harry let a mischievous smile flit across his face as he moved onto gently tugging the blonde curls that framed his girlfriend's gentle face. "I also think that should be it for now."

"Are you sure that you don't want Hermione and Ron in the faculty?" Luna inquired curiously around the end of her pen.

Harry nodded decisively. "Very sure." He murmured in her ear, gimlet eyes peering around the audience chamber softly.

Then he smirked rather viciously, clearing his throat loudly.

"Alright, guys," he announced cheerfully, emerald eyes sparking with badly concealed mischief. A few members jumped viciously at the sudden loud noise, carefully avoiding Harry's smirking face. Ron and Hermione shared a suspicious glance, their eyes staring at Luna in confusion and distaste. Since when was Harry so close with Luna Lovegood? "Let's head out to the lobby. I have some packets here to hand out. Unfortunately for you, I have you for the rest of tonight and all of tomorrow."

TOURANYONETOURANYONE

Once more, Harry was sitting on a black marble counter. In his hands was a sheaf of papers. In Luna's, were a few packs. A couple of wheeled trolleys surrounded the dark oak cabinets, stuffed to the brim of bags and other various items.

Once more, Harry cleared his throat, although it was unnecessary due to being stared at in silence by practically everyone. It was really unnerving, but he supposed he should get used to it.

"Right. You know who you're paired with for room assignments. The room numbers are engraved on your keys, so there should be no reason to forget them unless you actually lost your key." At this, he aimed a pointed glare at Ron, Snape, Sirius, Tonks, and Dumbledore. "The bags we're giving you have a standard change of clothes, a Jurassic Park wristband, gloves, a belt, sturdy pair of shoes, and an emergency radio transmitter. There is also a few bags of treats in there for when you meet the babies. Since the sun has already set, we can't really set out more. Your last names will be spelled onto the back of your shirts, for the purpose of remembering them." Was there anything he was forgetting? "Anything I'm forgetting, Luna?"

Luna nodded, scribbling down on her pad furiously and tapping her radio transmitter absently. "Yes. Your clothes have a tracking chip embedded in them so we know where you are at all times. Please note that if you don't change into these clothes, you will probably get eaten or lost." She said blithely, tearing off a piece of paper and dropping it on the counter. "They do keep you safe. Harry, don't forget to introduce your security team to them."

Harry lit up like a lighthouse beacon. "Oh yeah!" He hopped off the counter, drawing out a rather delicately shaped whistle. Upon blowing on it, there were a series of chirps emitting from a nearby room.

Entering the room from a space slightly bigger than usual were seven small-ish dinosaur beings. Small-ish meaning smaller than a Tyrannosaur. " _Behave._ " he hissed to the creatures, who hissed back their compliance.

These dinosaurs stood on two massively powerful hind legs, their angular spine extending out a good two and a half feet to form a tail. The creatures were all smooth muscle and scales, ridges arching over their eyes and head. Two long arms extended from their heavy torso. They hovered around Harry and Luna prospectively, their frighteningly intelligent poisonous green eyes balefully glaring at the group of magicals. One of the scariest things about the raptors was their razor-sharp three talons.

These creatures would most likely dominate nightmares to come within the next few years.

"Meet my security team!" Harry beamed like a proud parent. "Aren't they precious?"

"Precious?" Ron hissed under his breath to Snape. The entire Order group was torn between gawking like idiots and pissing themselves from fear.

"I raised them myself!" Harry proudly gestured around him. "Their names are Severus, Jewel, Gemini, Bellatrix, Jumanji, Moody, and Romulus."

In that moment, Molly Weasley, Minerva McGonagall, Tonks, Ginny, Shacklebolt, Emmelaline Vance, Mundungus, and Hermione all fainted. The rest of them looked ready to pass out or like they had been tasered.

"They're my very own Quidditch team!" Harry boasted, pretending to wipe away tears from his eyes. In the next moment, Ron and Sirius joined the fainted.

Harry looked upon the group with a distinct air of amusement. If you couldn't baffle them with bullshit, baffle them with the truth.


	5. Bonding: Hermione & Luna

**CHAPTER FIVE YEAHHH**

 **on a rolllll**

 **sort of**

 **idk**

 **to celebrate 90 reviews and nearly 23.5k views, here's the latest chapter! I'm surprised with myself. I didn't think I would enjoy writing something so much. Here's some Hermione/Harry family bonding! Sorry for those of you who would like to see that pairing; I enjoy the Luna/Harry one too much. While I love all the questions, I'm going to clear something up here.**

 **Hermione is NOT going to be a villain in this story. While I generally like Hermione, Ron, Dumbledore, and Weasley bashing, I like not seeing them bashed even more. If you guys could recommend some great fics where they don't hate Harry, I would really appreciate it!**

 **She'll have her moments, but Harry will give her a kicked-kitten look and she'll melt. IDK. Should Harry have an animagus form? Let me know what you would like to see for it in the reviews! Maybe Luna could have one. This should turn out to be fairly interesting.**

 **Anyways.**

 **Wooot!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Jurassic Park or Harry Potter.**

Shuffling through his papers, Harry found himself sitting at the front desk and thinking about what they should go through tomorrow. He was more than tempted to see if Hermione would accept being an intern, but he wasn't sure if she had a crush on him or not. Letting out a slow sigh, he tapped his chin thoughtfully and scribbled down the pros and cons of having the young woman on his team.

Pros: intelligent, excellent researcher, good listener, follows directions to a T, thoroughly researches anything, potential new ideas for the park

Cons: might have a crush on him, could rat him out to Dumbledore, might actually _report_ to Dumbledore.

Harry cracked his jaw, letting the grinding sound reverberate through his skull. Firmly placing his hands against his face, Harry couldn't help but hesitate. She really could report back to-

"H-Harry?"

The fifteen year old nearly jumped an entire foot in the air, jewel-bright eyes widening in alarm as he whirled around. What had been previously sluggish and tired was now fully alert, alarm-bells ringing through his mind. His hand hovered over his hip, where his wand-holster was invisibly stuck to.

Think of the devil and she shall appear. With a soft sigh, Harry relaxed his stance and faced the bushy-haired figure of Hermione.

"Yes, 'Mione?" he eyed her uncertainly, who looked back at him with that same uncertainty. "What are you doing up at..." he checked the monitor of his glowing computer screen, squinting at the lower right portion. "1:36 in the morning?"

"D-do you have room for one more on your staff team?" Golden brown eyes met his own green ones, before lowering submissively to the ground. Harry frowned immediately, there was something very wrong with this situation. What was going on?

"Why do you ask?" he inquired slowly, and was totally not prepared (yet not surprised) when she burst into tears.

How had he not seen her red-rimmed eyes when he looked at Hermione fully. Embracing the young woman into a comforting hug, he cooed wordlessly into her ear and brushed her hair back softly. "M-my parents-"

Harry frowned again, tightening his hug around her. "What's wrong, Hermione?" _Tell me what's going on._ He added silently, concern rising for his female friend.

"They w-were ob-obliviated." the sixteen year old clung to the younger male tightly, fingers tightening in his shirt subconsciously. "I don't know what happened, but th-they were obliviated of-of _all_ knowledge of magic."

Harry froze. The Ministry... they didn't...? " _Everything?_ " he whispered, voice horrified. The Ministry wouldn't be that cruel!

"I tried to g-go back at the st-start of summer," Hermione said, her voice thick of sorrow and grief. "They looked at me in confusion and- and-" She burst into tears, clinging tightly to Harry and silently very, very, _very_ glad that this young man was her best friend.

"Oh, _Hermione._ " Harry's voice trembled slightly, though it was full of understanding and pain. "My door will always, _always_ be open to you." His arms tightened around her, and the two sank to the floor in their tight embrace. There was nothing romantic about it. It was just a hug for a friend who was grieving.

"Th-th-th- _thank you._ " Hermione sobbed into his shoulder, her tears soaking through Harry's shirt. The emerald-eyed young man didn't care, as he knew that the sixteen year old needed this comfort.

"You're not going back with them," Harry murmured, his new determination solidifying. If this wasn't reason to add her to his staff team, he didn't know what was. He leaned back, wiping his thumbs under her eye and erasing any tears that escaped further. "I do have a few questions for you before you go back to bed."

A questioning, hopeful gaze stared at him, before she nodded her consent.

"Have you ever reported my actions back to Dumbledore?" he inquired bluntly. He needed to know, so what wasn't better than getting told directly.

Hermione's deer-in-the-headlights expression had his stomach sinking slowly. "It-it was only a few times," Hermione muttered slightly, twisting her fingers together quietly. "The only hings he ever asked me were of your health and how you were doing, though." She silently noted Harry's slightly pained expression, so she felt inadvertently relieved when his face relaxed into his warmth for her. "However, I have _never_ ratted you out to Dumbledore. McGonagall, maybe, but _never_ to Dumbledore."

Harry let loose a blinding smile of pure _relief_ that warmed Hermione to the bones, although the painful reminder that her parents would never remember her was still hovering nearby.

"One other question then," Harry murmured. "Have you ever felt any attraction to me, or a desire to maintain a romantic relationship?"

Hermione looked very confused at that question. "What do you mean?" she inquired quietly, as though searching for something in her mind.

Harry stared at her, before muttering something under his breath and quickly getting to his feet. He offered a hand to her, and Hermione quickly grasped it to pull herself up. "I only see you as my best friend and sister, Hermione," he said gently, his happy green eyes full of a familial warmth as he scribbled down on a piece of paper. "I would be very happy to welcome you as an intern to Jurassic Park."

 _ **THIS IS A LINE-BREAK**_

"LUUUNA!" Harry's voice was loud, exuberant as it echoed across the lodge, waking up the people who were currently trying to sleep.

"HAAARRY!" The young woman's own voice was incredibly louder than her boyfriend's, confusing them even more.

"LUUUUUNA!" Ugh, this was starting to get irritating.

"HAAAAARRY!" Flinging off their covers, they yawned sleepily and gazed around to look for a change of clothes. Only to remember they were in the bag at the end of their bed.

"LUNAAAAAA!" After changing and general complaining, they drowsily stumbled down the stairs or went in the elevator at the end of the hallway.

"HARRYYYYYY!" Those who went down the stairs were treated to one of the strangest sights they had seen yet.

"LUNAAAAAAAAA!" Harry James Potter and Luna Lynn Lovegood were having a simultaneous face-off of epic yelling proportions. The person who could yell the loudest without losing their voice won. Unfortunately, Harry's yells were starting to sound a little hoarse around the edges. The messy-haired young man coughed, beating his chest and generally trying to get back into gear.

At nearly five in the morning, Harry seemed spectacularly chipper for a fifteen-year old who hadn't slept yet. He had stayed up all night doing paperwork and chatting with Hermione once she had considerably calmed down. The teen girl had remained awake for the rest of the night, helping organize some papers and debating back and forth with Harry on bringing back some of the magical specimens that were around with the dinosaurs in the Cretaceous period.

"I can't do this anymore," Harry rasped at Luna, pointing dramatically at her and giving her a stink eye. "You've won these last fifteen times!" He groaned and sent a pleading look towards Hermione, who was sitting next to the duo and reading a book. "What am I doing wrong, Herms?"

"Don't call me that," the sixteen year old reminded absently, briefly dog-earing the book and setting aside. "They're awake."

Harry blinked and turned to the rest of the group. "You're awake?" it was more of a statement than a question. "Oh!" He perked up immediately. "They're awake!"

"Yes, Harry, you've said that two times now," Luna gently reprimanded. "You need more sleep." The pretty blonde leveled a knowing, disappointed look at her boyfriend.

"Yes, dear," the black-haired boy rolled his eyes and faced the group. Sirius, looking groggy and disheveled, pouted slightly. Bloody godson wasn't going to date Hermione or Ginny! Pooey. Molly Weasley could only look disappointed, as well as her daughter.

"To breakfast, then!" Harry cheered, and almost ran into a wall on his way out of the building. Hermione and Luna could only stare after him in concern.


End file.
